September 26

The Fake Dating War by Sookh Kaur

The Fake Dating and the War have nothing to do with each other, which is the first thing I want to address. I’m not sure why exactly, but reading the title, I felt like there were two couples, both lying about being in a relationship, and one of them would come out as the winner, having fooled everyone, while the other would be deemed liars. However, it’s more about a work-related “war,” which is more collegial bickering and prompting each other to do their best through always being in contest with each other. This is also a cool dynamic, just not what the title implied. 😅

Tropes like the man falling for the woman first definitely come up here, if that’s something you’re looking out for. It’s very cute how caring Jake becomes as soon as something is up with Reema, even though he himself does not understand why he acts the way he does. This also means that, although this is advertised as an enemies-to-lovers romance, they are never really enemies in the first place. They act as if they hate each other, but they clearly don’t, never have, and never will. So it’s really more of an interesting friendship dynamic turned romantic in the right circumstances.

They are both very fleshed out, likable characters, though I have to admit the spotlight of the story is clearly on Reema. Following her to her sister’s wedding, getting to know her whole family and culture while only really ever meeting one brother and Jake’s mother once, is a noticeable difference. This leads me right into my next point: the book should not have ended when they officially came together. I would have really loved seeing their relationship bloom, Reema in turn getting to know Jake’s family better, them exploring what it means to be in a romantic relationship now, and how this changes their relationship at work, etc. I would have genuinely been curious about that, that’s how well the characters were written, and I am kind of salty that I was cut off like that as a reader.

There are rather few spicy scenes in the book, which was quite sad to me too, but you get an exclusive “deleted scene” when you subscribe to Kaur’s newsletter, which I don’t know how to feel about. Not the scene itself, but the practice of it. Again, this ties in with my last point: we have seen their friendship, we have seen their bickering, we have seen them have hot sex like once, but we are denied seeing their relationship really unfold further. The epilogue, thank god there is one, takes place about one year after everything else. And I really, really don’t know why. I would not have needed to read about a whole year between them (but I think I could have), but at least their real beginnings.

Final verdict: While I find the title misleading, Kaur wrote a very funny and cute love story about work competitors who both see and bring out the best in each other. They are never really enemies, but more like friends who should have become lovers sooner. They are so interestingly written that I would have loved to know more about their story, but as a reader, I was denied. The spicy scenes are long, but there are not many of them, and one you only get by subscribing to the author’s website (possible blackmailing? 😆). I love the diversity of the story, getting to know Indian culture in a not-at-all-on-the-nose way, and also how open the male MC is to all of that. It really made me interested in reading more books by the author and getting more informed about Indian culture, its stories, and rituals.

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August 5

You’re It by Cleo White

I really liked seeing both of the main characters being neurodiverse, even though with Savvy there is no official diagnoses with the stuff she tells about her past and things always going wrong, it has certain hints of ADHD and such. The male MC Darwin is official stated to have OCD but is also very autism coded, yet still successful in life mostly. It’s rare to see that much representation, and it makes up for an interesting relationship dynamic not seen in these kinda of books too often, or rather it could have had the potential for it. Darwin’s condition comes up often times and is one of the main focuses of the book, but then his symptoms just vanish in time, compelled by the power of love I assume, and he is suddenly capable of things he was not before. Sadly, that’s not how these things work in real life, which is why I almost want to take the point for representation back. But I guess in the end, it’s still two neurodiverse protagonists, and how often do we see that?

The next problem is the age gap. It’s not a problem in general, since that’s what the book is advertised for and for the most part of the book both protagonists are consenting adults(there are flashbacks where Savvy is having a crush on him at 16, but nothing happens with that, it’s just mentioned) but if Savvy would not mention all the time, how Darwin was her father best friend, we would not know he is older than her. Apart from a brief mention of silver fox vibes at the beginning and the end, no age related problems EVER come up in the book. They don’t fight over generational differences, nor his body or anatomical issues, and noone is really commenting on their relationship from the outside aside from one friend who is just angry for how things went between them in the past. Darwin comments sometimes on how he is “too old for her” but it’s never really addressed why that could be a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I would not have wanted for it to become a problem but having a conversation about for example Savvy knowing he probably will die before her and accepting it out of love, would have made her bound stronger and also kinda adhered to the expectations I had when going into an age-gap relationship novel. Basically Darwin acts as if he was a teenager almost, physically and mentally, you never really get the idea he is an over 40 years old guy. Might be a downer for people who were specifically looking for such a dynamic.

In general, I think everything in the book happens a bit fast, too fast. They had a thing before, so falling back into love might be easier than falling in love for the first time, granted. But everything just happens that fast, Darwin getting better, the renovations, the development in their relationship etc. It’s basically: Savvy gets back in Darwin’s life, a few chapters later he declares his love, another few chapters they both think and talk about marriage and children, then the renovations are done, and the epilogue comes around. I think about 3-4 months pass while all of that is happening in the book, but it does not feel like it at all, it feels like we as the readers skip a lot of development. Like Darwin mentions how Savvy has been starting ripping out the old flooring, but we never actually have a chapter of them working on something, like cleaning an area or fixing old tech. It’s implied that all of that is happening, but we don’t get it shown. Same with the relationship, it feels like a lot of development just happens off-screen, and we see them just be happy together, though especially these first times and almost everything is a first for Darwin, get lost. There is also this whole part about Darwin being a virgin, but for some reason still also being a sex expert? Like he never touched a woman, but when fingering his girlfriend for the first time, he knows what to do perfectly, but why? How? I’d get if he would learn, maybe even learn faster, showing off some positive sides of his disorder being obsessed over learning how to please his girlfriend, but we don’t get to see that. He is just good at sex all of a sudden, which is quite unrealistic. I think the whole book could have been fleshed out a bit more.

Final verdict:
I think this book has so much potential! It could be a great representation of neurodiversity, but it lacks in actually tackling the problems that comes with it and makes them just vanish in time. It could be a great entry in the age-gap trope, if it wouldn’t be for the fact that nothing age-gap related really ever comes into play in the story. Furthermore, it could be an interesting way to show how two people at two very different points in their lives help each other grow in ways they couldn’t have without each other. But we don’t really see the growing together part, it’s all just implied, and we see only the outcome of the work that must have somehow gone into it? I still think it’s a great, light read for anyone who does not care about something deeper. The writing style itself was very funny, I was able to fly through the pages and what I read, was nice but nothing more than that. I just wish I would have been able to read more, a more detailed story that could live up top it’s potential, which sadly just did not happen here.

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April 13

Ableism 101

As some of you know, I am studying sign language at a university in Germany, which means a huge part of that is also disabled studies in general. I don’t want to say I am an expert in the field, but I might do know a few more things about it than the average person does. And today is one of these days where I feel like I should share some of that knowledge I have gained with you.

The difference between the words “able” and “disable”

To talk about this topic we first need to define some of the words I will be using throughout this post, let’s start with the difference between “abled” and “disabled” people. Someone is considered “able” when the body they have been born into fits the criteria of what society views as “healthy” and “normal”, meaning just because of their body, they won’t be held back by society in any way(let’s ignore things like racism and sexism for the sake of this explanation). “Disabled” people, on the other hand, are born with or without something, which makes participating in our society harder for them.

So let’s imagine someone who is born with legs that can run, take stairs and be independent. Someone born without or with broken legs in some way, can’t run, can’t take stairs and often is not as independent, not because of their disability, but because society often forgets about them. They make buildings without ramps, without accessible toilets or even without big enough doors for a wheelchair to fit through. And because of those things, they are not able to be independent oftentimes.

In Germany, the translation of “disabled” is actually “behindert”, which would literally mean something like “being hindered to do something“. In this case, a wheelchair user would be hindered to access a building for one or multiple of the reasons I stated above. Their problem would not be their wheelchair in this case, but the fact that whoever build the building did not think of how a wheelchair user would enter. And that’s the general problem disabled people face in life, no matter what kind of disability they have.

What is ableism?

As I said earlier, for the sake of that explanation, we tried to not think of racism and sexism, which I think you all know the definition of already. Ableism is very similar, only that the minority group which is being discriminated against in this case are disabled people. This discrimination can look very obvious, in that for example someone is bullied for their “strange look” because the person might be fully blind and thus has nothing to focus on. But it can be less obvious too, sometimes people don’t even know that they are acting ableist.

A good example of that kind of behaviour is what led me initially to write this post. As you certainly know, there are different kinds of gadgets already developed, which are supposed to help disabled people be more independent in life. The wheelchair is one of the most obvious, but there are many many more. One thing that comes to my mind is a plate that has some cavities and a little stopper, to position food into. It was made to make people who only have one hand or one arm, be able to slice their food without someone else’s help.

But those two Gadgets seem very obvious and self-explanatory to me, and it looks like there are others, which confuse people. Just recently I saw a video of a chef making fun of a device which I can best describe as an egg cracker, but one that does the job for you. You lay an egg into position, grab the handle and press down and the raw egg falls down into your pan, ready to be cooked. This chef in the video did make it seems as if that was an “unnecessary contraption” and it would be so much easier to just break an egg with your hands, “it only needs practice”. That is straight-up ableist behaviour because not everyone has the dexterity or just the right body parts to be able to crack an egg open like that. So making fun of helpful devised is very discriminative, even though I am pretty sure, the chef from the video did not even think of what that gadget might have been actually used for.

Gadgets that benefit disabled people, can benefit us all

This indirect form of Ableism often springs from a lack of education, like it’s the problem with many different things. People often just don’t know and somehow don’t find out, that some devices have been invented with disabled people in mind. And not all of them only benefit them, many of them actually benefit everyone in society. Let me give you some examples.

With TikTok being at an all-time high and Instagram basically trying to copy its functions, short video-based content is all the rage these days. POV, subtitles, Speech-to-text and Voice Recognition are all already part of our daily lives, but have we stopped one second to think about how they are actually helping disabled people more than they help us? Subtitles may not have been designed for deaf people, but they help them engage with said media content, which would otherwise not be available to them. Speech to text is making writing texts digitally easier for blind people, and audiobooks basically only exist because of them.

Curb cuts, which I have often used owning a scooter since last year, were designed to help wheelchair users get across the street. Typewriters were originally designed to help blind people write a letter, back when that was still popular 😉 Even electrical toothbrushes were designed to help those limited motor skills and this list could go on for quite a while longer, but I think I got my point across.

Fin

With this post, I only hope to spread some more awareness and educate people on topics, which at least in my school time, were sadly on no one’s mind. Disabled people do exist in our society, they are part of it and should be treated as such. So next time you pick up something, which seems useless to you, before discarding the product altogether, think about how it might be able to help other people. Who knows, maybe it even sparks an idea for a new gadget in your head, which will become so popular in the future, that everyone will use it. I think in general, we should just think of other people more often and some of the problems we share on a worldwide level would disappear.

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March 30

Sketch A Day – A Drawing App By Artists for Artists

Sketching something once a day is a great concept! It can not only help you to improve through practice it can also help you to make drawing daily part of your routine. But there are problems with it, sometimes you just don’t know what to draw or you will draw the same things over and over again. A friend from Slowly(another great app which I can highly recommend!) told me about this app called “Sketch A Day” which I want to present and kinda review for you here today 🙂

Sketch A Day basically looks like a light version of Instagram, where you can upload pictures and other people can like or comment on them. But if you dive deeper into the functions of the app, you will see that it’s a lot different, because it’s made with artists in mind. When uploading an image you can for example tell the app what kind of medium you have used, so that later your drawing can be sorted accordingly and found by the people who enjoy exactly that. You can choose between very common ones like digital, pencil or ink, but you have many more options such as gouache, charcoal or pastel. You can also talk about the reference you have used if you have used any. Which I mostly used to share and find new cool tutorials. But the biggest advantage of the app, are their prompts!

As I mentioned before, there are those days when you look at a white sheet of paper or a white screen and your mind seems empty. A prompt can not only help you start it can also make you try out motifs and styles which you might have never thought of yourself. Prompts can also be interpreted in many different ways, making it a fun challenge to come up with something interesting. One prompt could be the word “story” which might lead some people to think of some kind of storybook right off the bat. Other people might think of their favourite story and draw something out of that, while others might draw a storyteller.
A prompt that really made me think was “symbol” because that could be almost ANYTHING! It could be an icon used to show people where the restrooms are, it could be referencing something or symbolizing a feeling. In the end, I decided to go for drawing the sign which I have often seen used as a symbol for sign language in general. It’s actually the international sign for “I love you” often used by deaf celebrities when posing for a picture. But drawing that was more difficult than I thought… I went from drawing a realistic hand to an emoji hand to adding an emoji heart but still, the canvas looked empty. So I tried out different things and in the end, created something that itself references old comic books. I don’t think I would have ever come up with that idea if it were not for the app.

Some of the Drawings I did on the App for the prompts “Flying”, “Atmosphere”, “Massage” and “Bug” 😉

There is also the option to become a gold member, which I personally have not tried out yet, but I still want to talk about it. One of the functions which you are gaining by signing up for it is being able to create an artist profile, which basically means adding a background picture, description and everything to your already existing profile and being able to show off the artworks you have made on there in a better way. Which to me sounds a bit… underwhelming considering that I could do almost all those things on Instagram for free. The other function which will be opening up to you is chatting with other members, which I know you can do on Instagram too, but hear me out! Because that’s actually the function I would love to have the most, which made me consider signing up sometimes already xD Because compared to Instagram, which basically everyone can use, on Sketch A Day there are only artists, many different ones with many different styles. And more than once I would have wanted to be able to ask someone how they drew something. And I feel like if I have had the option they would have answered.

But even without these features, I feel like the app is still worth recommending! One of the things that gives me additional motivation is my streak meter which is showing me how many days in a row I uploaded a drawing. At times it can be stressful to come up with an idea inspired by the prompt, but you can always see the prompt coming the next day and if you watch an advert (which sometimes works, but sometimes it does not for some reason) you would get to see all of the upcoming prompts for the rest of the week. So that way you can at least think about what your next drawing could be, which I find super helpful^^ Also there is a kind of library with texts other members have written about how to draw. Recently I read one about how to draw hair the correct way. I am still not able to do it(because I suck I guess xD), but I think it’s cool to have this kind of knowledge collection on there.

All in all this app seems to be made by artists for artists, it’s a way to connect to a creative community and not only be inspired by them but also motivated to draw. It gives you ideas and hints, that keep you drawing on a daily basis and thus practising and getting better with time. I feel like it makes sharing art, for someone who might be still a bit insecure(like ME) about their work, easier because as of now I have never gotten a bad comment or no likes on a picture. So it might be a good first step, before switching to another app one day. Therefore I would highly recommend it for beginner artists, but also don’t see why a professional artist could not have fun with it. I guess this app is for everyone, who like to create something visually. If you got curious now and want to check it out, you can do so here on android and here on apple devices 🙂

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

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March 16

Papergang – One Year Later

You might all be familiar at this point with my monthly reviews of Papergang Mystery boxes, now it has already been one year of me subscribing to them and I think that’s worth a special review 😉 I actually already did a half years box and my verdict after half a year was actually that if those last boxes don’t manage to sweep me off my feet, I might have to cancel my subscription. Let’s see if they have managed to do that in the end or not!

This is NOT an official design by OhDeer or Papergang, but an interpretation of their old designs to fit the theme of this post created by myself 🙂

One topic I get can out of the way already is the Brexit. It cost me a lot of nerves in the second half of 2021, because at first many of my boxes got lost or shipped back to the UK and when they were delivered in the end, I had to pay extra, A LOT. If you want to know more about why that was, you can read about it in my other post *here*. But gladly the team behind the Papergang subscription found a way to solve the problem, which they had not even caused in the first place. This is why I don’t want to consider it in my review at all. It happened this one time and it got fixed, it could have been communicated better with the customers, but all in all, they did their best 🙂

What I will be focusing on in this review are mostly the points I already criticized in my half-year review and if they did improve upon them or not. Let’s begin with my fixation on the boxes having or not having a theme to them 😛 When reviewing the Papergang next to the scrawler box from October 2021, I have to say that the Scrawler Box did fit my wishes way better because they had a clear goal in mind: Providing you with the utensils you need to do a certain project. And I loved that, they even had the artist from that box make a drawing with those exact things.
But with Papergang it’s not so easy, since it’s not really connected to art. But still, I feel like there could have been more of a theme in many boxes. Like for example focussing on a set to write letters to friends and trying to pick utensils that would help with that particular idea. Or focussing on notetaking and notetaking alone. What I observed after a year of Papergang is that they treat it more like a refill box for stationery you are going to use up over time anyways. In almost every box you will get a graphite pencil and sticky notes, but only one time you get one pencil case in 12 boxes, because that’s not something that gets used up. I would have loved for the things that I get in the boxes to feel less random.

Art is a big debate when it comes to Papergang in general. By working together with an artist for every new box and really only including exclusive items inspired by their designs, Papergang is standing out and I think it’s a brilliant idea. But it could be improved immensely when they would actually include their art. I know they don’t like to put artworks in because people will complain about it not being stationary and not having practical use. But I feel like trying to get the design from an artist on a pen, often does not work out which is why sometimes, I don’t think like the cooperation is really worth much. Not because the artists are not good, but because we don’t even really get anything from them. Most pencils are only in a colour matching the artwork on the front of the box, planners are often printed with their designs, but most other things are not. I just feel like that’s a bit of a waste and it could be such a cooler experience if we would actually get some art to keep or try to incorporate their designs better into the refills we get.

Customer Service was a negative point in my half years review. I admit that was mostly due to me being a bit annoyed at awaiting a cool compensation and only getting some random cards and randomness as you know, it’s not something I am fond of xD But all in all, I have to say the customer service is great, you get an answer pretty quickly and they try to help you solve your problem ASAP. I even got about half of the extra costs for the Brexit problem repaid and not with a coupon or a free box, but with the money no questions asked. If I should name one things that I loved the most about Papergang I would say it’s their customer service, even though I would have liked it even more to not rely on them so much aka not having had so much trouble with the boxes last year xD

This is NOT an official design by OhDeer or Papergang, but an interpretation of their old designs to fit the theme of this post created by myself 🙂

Final Verdict
I have to say sadly there was not one box anymore which impressed me as much as the box from 2020 which I had bought previously to my subscription. I kinda took this one as a stand-in for the whole year of Papergangboxes in 2020 and I later even got some more from that particular year. Maybe this year the topics had just not been my personal favourite or the artist they choose to work with did not cater to my style. Sadly with most of the boxes from 2021 I was just bored which let me cancel my subscription or better not renew it for 2022. Though I will miss having to open and talk about a box each month, I am not quite sure yet if I will get a replacement or not. I would not say I will never again buy a Papergang box, since I have still hope they can improve and maybe, just maybe I will even have a year-long subscription again in the future. But for that to happen, they would have to wow me and we will have to see about that.

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Mystery Box, Mystery Box, Papergang, Papergang, Review, Subscription Box | LEAVE A COMMENT
March 3

Papergang January 2022

Remember me talking about a goodbye in the review of my last Papergang box? Well, I might have been a bit dramatic when I wrote that down. When I am writing this post, I am not sure if my One year review of Papergang has already been uploaded or not, but just to be clear I did in fact cancel my subscription at Papergang. But that does not mean that I can’t get boxes anymore 😉 Basically, my plan was to not pay for a full year of boxes from which 60% or more might bore me but keep an eye on what boxes are to come and only buy the ones I am really interested in. That’s exactly what I did with this one, so let’s take a look at it together 🙂

This month’s box seems to have been inspired by calligraphy much, which is actually why it caught my eye. Calligraphy is something I do enjoy in my free time and what I saw in the pictures on their website, looked like something good. This box contains one debossed Daily Planner(dotted), some ombre sticky notes, a 6-sided ruler with measurements and markings designed for lettering, a refillable fountain pen(which comes already filled) and an Art print.

My camera picked up the colors here in a very strange way but I sadly only realized later :/ That’s why the next picture will look different, just so you know 😛

I mostly wanted to get this box because of the fountain pen, on the pictures, it looked like a high-quality pen which I thought might be specially made for using it for calligraphy. But when I open the box and took a good look at the fountain pen, I was really disappointed. Not only does it feel and look like very cheap quality, the nib is also no different from the fountain pen nibs you can buy at every store for school. What I was expecting was a fountain pen with a wide nib for example, or a nib that widens when you press it down or even multiple nibs you could interchange. But what we got, was less impressive than any normal fountain pen you can buy for cheap. The only thing I liked, was that there is a small hole right under the screwline that lets you check on how much ink is still left in the cartridge.

The next thing that I was kinda surprised about was the fact that they put an art print in here. I remember that actually, last year’s January box had an art print too, of two flowers. I also remember it has not been received very well since art technically is not stationary the people subscribing could use it practically. This print is no different other than it having a holographic foil finish on the letters. I also feel like with lettering and calligraphy as a topic, for an art print there would have been more possibilities. Of course, that’s a personal opinion of mine, but I feel like to introduce someone to lettering, you could have used different fonts in different sizes. Even with only two words, you could have had some decorations, different colours and so on. The text on the paper even feels a bit small, as if something would be missing.

The rest of the box is mostly okay, nothing that I could talk about for long. The planner is a great addition to the first box of the year since people can start using it for important dates right away and sticky notes are also always relevant. I am not a huge fan of the designs, since you can barely see or feel the debossing on the notebook and the dotted design on the sticky notes, feels like a wasted opportunity to incorporate some guidelines for people who are actually somehow inspired to do lettering or any other form of calligraphy after receiving this box.

The only thing in here, that I personally feel like actually using is the interesting metal ruler. It has the quality that I was expecting all of the items had, it feels sturdy, the measurements can be read very clearly and with its six different sides, it can be used for many different things. Like making your own guidelines on paper, measuring the size of different letters and so on. And it’s also the only item that to me feels like it is really connected to calligraphy.

My final verdict on this box is, that sadly Papergang can still disappoint me in different ways. This time it was not only kinda boring, like most of the boxes from 2021(which is why I cancelled my subscription) no it did feel almost deceiving. Because I don’t feel like I was the only one with expectations for a box designed like this. I feel like more items that are actually connected to calligraphy should have been included in here. And the ones which are, should have been better quality. All in all I feel like they could have done so much better with only some small changes.

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Mystery Box, Papergang, Review, Subscription Box | LEAVE A COMMENT
March 1

Papergang December 2021

Things were a bit rough at the end of the last year and also the beginning of 2022, which is why I only returned back home in February, where one Papergang box still waited for me to open and review it 😉 So let’s do it together!

The December paper gang box has a jungle-like theme again very similar to another box from 2021, but its contents are very different. This box really feels like one preparing us for the new year because amongst them is a fully customisable Wall Calendar, 2 pairs of 2 different sticker sheets, three dual-ended highlighters, an HB pencil with gold foiling and an A5 Deskpad.

The last paper gang box of the year actually really surprised me since at this point I had already decided not to renew my subscription for 2022 (more on that in a later post) and basically was waiting for it to end xD This might sound a bit tough, but almost all of the last boxes have kinda disappointed me so I really did not expect to love most stuff in the last box that I would get for 2021!


I loved the calendar for its design, every page has a calendar sheet on one side and a beautiful drawing on the other. My birth month march has an owl which I appreciate very much! The calendar sheet is so customisable that you could even use it for another year than 2022 if you might already have a calendar for the upcoming year at home. That’s because only the numbers are printed on the paper, but they are not connected to any days in the year, those are delivered with the stickers or you can just write them in by hand.

The stickers can basically be used to mark every important event in the year: you get some balloons for birthdays, aeroplanes for upcoming travels, a beer and a wine glass for a party maybe? There are also some less obvious ones like question and exclamation marks, some smilies and just coloured dots. Next to the day stickers you also get some that say “Important”, “Holiday” and “Day Off”, all in matching colours to the beautiful calendar.

Last but not least let’s talk about the pens. The highlighters come in a very pastel yellow, blue and red. I actually just found out that they are dual-sided because I made the review and it’s in the explanation sheet, but visually it’s not very obvious xD Visually with the also very pastel coloured paper of the calendar, I feel like they might be a bit too pale to really show. But on the other hand, using brightly coloured highlights might have not looked good either. So I guess it comes down to personal preference.
As with the graphite pencil… I said again and again that I don’t think graphite pencils are a good tool to write something down for the long term. On a small post-its it might be no problem since that’s not used for long but in a notebook or a calendar like this, a smudging pen is not what I would want to use. A fineliner or a ballpoint pen would be the better choice in my opinion. But considering the rest of the box was so great, I think it’s a forgettable detail.


All in all, I would say I am pretty happy to have gotten this box as my last one out of the big subscription, it sadly could not make the disappointment of the other ones go away, but it was a nice goodbye. The calendar is really nice and can be used multiple times, depending on how you decorate it. I only wrote the birthdays in mine, so I can appreciate the beauty of the calendar for many years 😉

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Mystery Box, Papergang, Review | LEAVE A COMMENT
February 2

Normalizing violence against children on TikTok & other video-platforms

The “Throw A Shoe” Trope

I know this is a bold headline but hear me out. I don’t have TikTok, but I use Instagram a lot and since they “invented” the Reel feature, many TikTokers repost their stuff on there too. So without actually using TikTok, I have an idea of how the app functions and know that there are many different things you can do with it. What started as a platform where people would mostly sing and dance to tunes, is now used for educational tutorial videos, cute pet videos and also comedic videos. The last one is what I want to focus on today, because that was the most problematic I have seen. I don’t want to condemn anyone, I don’t want people to unfollow anyone, I really only want to spread awareness of the topic, because I feel like many creators just don’t know what kind of impact their work can have. So if you are interested in what I have to say and what I find out, this post is for you 🙂

Scrolling through the reels on Instagram has become some kind of routine for me, to do when I am bored. And I mostly adore the cool art videos, cute pets to look at and I do laugh and many videos with a comedic intention behind them too. But from watching these videos so often, there is one trope in particular which I have seen being used very often and very naively. Oftentimes, when I see a video situation or a POV describing a child – parent relationship, it’s about the kid doing something “wrong” and the adult either actively using violence or at least treated to use it. And the comedic idea behind this seems to indicate some kind of shared childhood memory of parents beating up their children. The trope which I have seen used the most is a parent, using their shoes or sandals to hit the child or throw at them.

You see where I live, in the whole country of Germany, beating up your children is actually against the law and I do know it’s not the same everywhere. But I still think hitting an innocent child, to make them “understand” something is never the right way to deal with a problem. It can even lead to trauma in the child, physically and psychologically and it’s always the better option to talk it out or choose non-violent penatlty like house arrest to raise children. The world is changing and I think beating up your children really is not modern anymore and might even be forbidden in more countries than you would think. Especially now with Corona and families being forced to stay in a house together for longer, that topic has arisen again.

Children between 12-years and 17-years use TikTok on a weekly basis

The problem I have with those kinds of videos is not the shared memory behind it, which is a concept often used in comedy. Where we laugh about something because we experienced it ourselves and have this “Yes, that’s true!” -moment, often amusing us and taking us back to a certain experience. I guess with violence, it’s more of a dark humour kind of thing, which I am not against in general. But if we think about who the audience of apps like TikTok is, mostly young children and teenagers, we should think more about how it affects them. Because for them, seeing such behaviour and adults laughing about it, will make them think it’s normal. And when they think it’s normal and gets beaten up themselves, they won’t do anything about it.

I don’t think children should be strong enough to defend themselves against an adult physically and mentally, but in a situation like this, they also won’t consider asking for help, because they might fear they get laughed at, just like people laugh at these videos. So what I would want to propose is for the people who make these comedic videos to stop and think about if they need to portray a story they want to tell in this way, or if there is no other way to deliver the message, without normalizing violence for all the children watching. And also, to not include these kinds of tropes in videos with a totally different meaning.

Hitting children seemingly has become a part of pop culture

Because what actually got me to want to talk about this topic here on my blog, is that I found this trope being used in a completely different context. Instead of describing a child – parents relationship, it was used in a POV for Squid Games. Basically, the video was about how Squid Games could look like in Germany and what kind of games might be played and it is joked about crossing the road. For context: In Germany, people really stop at a red light as pedestrians and only cross the road when the green light comes up. Mostly because if you don’t do it that way, a mother, a father or some old people will actually come up to you and scold you, saying stuff like “Think about the kids and what they will do when they see you crossing the street when the red light is up“, which is especially ironic in the context of this post.

Instead of being scolded like I just mentioned the person in the video was actually hit with a shoe by the grandmother who saw them cross the street with the red light on. And the thing is: the message could have been delivered in a very different way. You could have made the grandmother stare you down, animated superman-like laser eyes or actually have them scold you. But instead, the creator choose to use the trope normally connected to beating up children, because it was considered to be a “funny thing”. And now think about the children and what they will think, seeing us laughing about something like this.

As a creator, you always have the responsibility to think of your target audience when creating and this gets more and more important in modern times. I see many activists talk about their topics with Trigger warnings or videos being subtitled so that deaf people can have fun with them too. Why not think about why you choose to portrait violence in such a unique way and if it’s necessary, next time you make a fun video. That’s all I want to achieve with this post, for people to just think a bit more about their actions and act accordingly. I don’t want to tell anyone how to live their life, but to try and stop sharing unnecessary violence, not just for the children, but for a better society in general.

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

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January 26

Sexism in Videogames

Can you really choose between two equal options?

This is quite a controversial topic, I know. And I don’t want to talk about every little detail in this conversation of things that have been wrong in video games. I actually love playing them myself, which is why I was motivated to write this post in the first place! Because I played games like Genshin Impact and the new Assainscreed games, where you can choose between a male and a female main character, but can you really? That’s what I want to focus on today 🙂

When you search for Genshin Impact or for any of the three latest Assassins Creed games, tell me what kind of images pop up. No really, do it and then come back here, just so you know that I don’t make up stories here. Have you done it and come back? Good, thank you. Then I assume you saw the artwork of the game and screenshots of the game and official promotional images of the game and most of them had the male version of the main character in them, right? I don’t talk about the images where the games refer to the character having two versions, but just normal promotional art with one version of them on the image. It’s always the guy wearing trousers for Geshin and the male assassins, isn’t that weird?

This little experiment showed that even though most games today have the option of choosing between two genders, the targeted audience is still the male one, wanting to play the male heroes. And that’s just a minor detail of what is upsetting me in these kinds of games. Another thing is how you play the games, which is especially visible in the new Assains Creed game.

Female heroes are just a copy of the male one – sometimes even censured

As you might know, those games often take place in some historical sites in the past, often at times where women were treated much differently than men were. So tell me then, why do I have the exact same dialogue playing a woman with an axe as a man with an axe. Because if I would really be in the presented time, I would have to deal with a lot more catcalling, not being taken seriously, or even attempted rape. I don’t think those things should keep the female version from being able to do everything in the game, but when you put this option in, it should feel real. So that when playing a woman, I might have to demonstrate my strength to make a man take me seriously because sadly that’s how it was and sometimes still is. But that’s not how it’s portrait in video games, because adding a female character version is not thought thorough decision, but a thing “you just do” in these modern times and you basically just copy-paste the function you already program for your real protagonist.

Another example, which I personally felt a big disadvantage was in the newest Assasins Creed game Valhalla. It was the first AC game where you could put on very different kinds of tattoos all around your body. I love customization like that and you had the option, to actually pay for those tattoos and new ones were coming out along with story updates and new character gear. So it was less of a gimmick and more of a full-on new feature they wanted to celebrate. But as a woman, you were not able to actually wear or see all of them, as you were not able to wear certain clothes. You might ask yourself, why it is that your female character does not have access to certain clothing?
Well actually, it was about how little clothing your character was able to wear. The male character was able to go and kill people with a bare chest, but the female version always needed to wear a kind of binder for her breasts. As a side note, the game Assasins Creed Vahalla was the first AC game which you would have to be 18 years old to buy, that being the legal age for drinking, driving a car and anything else in Germany. So there was really no reason to save adults from having to look at female nipples(which would have been digitally created). And in a game like this laziness does not count as an excuse.

Another problem with this exact game mechanic, which again just shows how this concept was not thought through at all, is the fact that you can’t upgrade your binder. You can upgrade everything else in the games, running around wearing a wolf coat with gold embellishments, shining boots, the sharpest weapons and even jewellery! But your character never got the chance to upgrade their old binder which they owned from the start of the game. Which seems to be just a white cloth that looks ridiculous together with gold embellished clothing. Meaning that basically every piece of clothing which required the male character to run around with a bare chest, making the great chest tattoos visible, the female version always looks odd. Not only because the tattoos could not be shown off in full glory, but because the old binder made it look like you combined some Level 1 armour with level 60 armour. Which I guess in turn explains why there is so less advertisement with the female character for this game, because the harsh, cool and rustic Viking look for which even the tattoos were really important just did not look good on the female character. Which the developer did not care or think about, because who does play as a female Viking anyways. right?

Conclusion

Don’t get me wrong, I am not angry because of some tattoos. I am not angry because of being treated nicely despite the fact that my character looks like a person who at that time in history might have been burned at a stake. I am not angry about the nicely designed male character I see every time I load up my Genshin game. I am angry about what’s behind all of these decisions: A man, thinking of other men, not of any women, who also pay for the games, play the games, recommend the games, and so on. We have 50% of the whole population being female, why does everyone seem to forget about or deliberately ignore that fact?

It’s not that difficult, I just wish for a game, where different gendered characters are included not only to please some feminist voices or to seem somewhat progressive but to actually give the players different options to experience the story. I want to feel my character struggle but thrive if it fits the setting of the game. I want more options to customize my character and either both female and male exclusive items or have the option to wear everything on both in a satisfying way. In short, I just want my character to be equal, not copies of each other, not censured versions. If a developer feels like only a male character fit his narrative, then just include one. But if you want to include more options, do it right. Think of everyone you are representing not only the men. I am a woman and I love videos games and I am just one out of many, don’t forget about or ignore us. Because we do not only play the games, we do pay for them too. If that’s the motivation people need these days so change something…

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Gaming | 2 Comments on Sexism in Videogames
January 19

Happy Birthday to us!

By now my blog will be exactly one year old, my first post was published on the 19th or January 2021 🙂 Congrats to me and thanks you to all of the people who have read my posts, talked to me about it and subscribed to this little project of mine! When I started, I did not really know where I was going. I just wanted to write about stuff I am passionate about, connect with people and maybe share some of my views. After one year, I think there are some things I want to try and change for the better. Posting more regularly, structure my longer posts in a better way and just make it a greater experience for all of us! You could say those are my new years’ resolutions(or at least some of them) for 2022 😉

Though the start into the new year sadly was not a great one for me personally. I really wanted to make a post about our new years’ traditions, but we did not get to do all of them, because we had a tragic loss in the family. As I want to keep my privacy, I won’t explain that further for now, but please be a bit patient with me, especially about my new years’ resolutions and what kind of posts there will be within the next weeks.
I have not yet decided which subscriptions to keep, which ones to cancel or which new ones to take on. I also have not yet published reviews about all of the subscriptions I started last year and I can’t say when they will be scheduled. So if you were looking forward to monthly reviews of subscription or mystery boxes, it might take a while until it’s all sorted out. But when it is, I hope that we will all be happy with it 🙂

There are also will be some more commentary-like posts in the future, which I had actually already written last year but I was not happy with how they looked and how they were structured. As you may have seen with my last post about Sexism in Cartooning, Manga and Anime, I already tried out something new. Don’t hesitate to let me know how you liked it! Some similar posts might be coming soon since as I just mentioned I basically already prepared them months ago and it’s a bit easier for me to finish and upload them than to come up with totally new stuff right now. Still, those posts are talking about some topics which are very important to me, so they are not bad (I hope) but just different to the posts you were used to seeing here. But I promise there will be light-hearted posts and reviews still in the future!

The picture at the beginning was drawn by myself and I am very happy about the progress I have made so far. Drawing people is still hard for me, I have learned some really useful tips and tricks for digital drawing in the last weeks! Surely I will tell you some more about it in an upcoming post too. Currently, I am still thinking about creating a new Instagram account just for my art, if I do, I will let you know 😉 Maybe I will even post some more drawings on here, we will see 😛

And last but not least I have something reaaaaally exciting to tell you! Since most of my regular viewers here are actually some of the penpals I have met on the App “Slowly”, I know from many of them that they want to learn German^^ I am no teacher myself, but they have told me that exchanging letters with me in German from time to time is really helpful 🙂 So I decided that I want to at least try(we will see how well it works later xD) to write my posts in both English AND German! I will have to see in which order I will update the later posts, hopefully, all of the posts in the future will be available in both languages. Maybe it’s just interesting for you to switch between them and try to understand some German 😉 Or maybe it really is helpful for your learning progress! Either way, I am really excited about this, as another feature for my blog in 2022!

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Info Post, Personal Life | LEAVE A COMMENT