May 18

PuffPals: Island Skies – The first time I support a Kickstarter Kampagne!

Hey y’all! First of all: I am a bit stupid sometimes xD I actually wrote this post when the Kickstarter Campaign was still going on, in an effort to inform you about it, but maybe also get help on reaching the stretch goals for it! For some reason, I forgot to change the post from private to public and now the campaign is already over… I am still very excited about the whole thing, so I still need to tell you about it, but sadly you will have no chance to join in anymore 🙁 I hope you don’t mind and that you are still interested in hearing about my newest passion 🙂 Let’s start from the beginning!

I am sure most of you have heard about Kickstarter. It’s an American Website, which provides creators with the opportunity of showing their plans for future projects and getting them funded. You can fund anything there in theory from your college degree, over a road trip, a new gadget, a book or even a game, anything is possible. Only the audience gets to decide which projects will actually be fully backed and which won’t. It’s essentially a kind of powerplay, where trust is very important because supporters basically have to fund something which does not exist and if the campaign won’t be successful, it might never exist. That’s something which has always kinda bothered me, I just never had this kind of trust in something, so I never backed a campaign yet. But things changed when I heard about PuffPals: Island Skies!

Island Skies is supposed to be a video game that could be described as a crossover of games like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, where you get to simulate a life in a perfect world, individualize your character, decorate your house, make friends and explore the world around you. Actually, I can say that it will be definitely a game in the future because the campaign reached its minimum goal within the first few days of its launch! This means that if anyone would decide to back up the project, they don’t even have to trust in the campaign working out, because it already did 😉 Of course, there is always the part where you have to trust the people keeping their word and actually using the money for a specific purpose, and I feel like I should mention that Kickstarter is not forcing people to actually do that, but with the active community that I have gotten to know through Discord, I don’t feel like this campaign is a scam 😉 This is actually why I decided to support the game and thus my first Kickstarter campaign ever! And all of it is so exciting to me, that I wanted to tell you about the process and what lies ahead in the future of this game.

What you can see here are the so-called stretch goals, which basically show what further features the development team will be trying to implement in the game, depending on how much money they will have at the end of the campaign. On one hand, it’s a way to get people to spend more money, but on the other hand, it’s also a way to make people participate in what should be inside the game. When the campaign started, there were not even any goals after the switch port, because the team behind the game did not even know if they would come that far. So they basically used the input they had from the community to decide what kind of goals they want to try to reach and thus shape the game in the way we as the fans want it. Also, money is an important factor here, since the team itself has to be paid, possible experts in new fields, artists and so on, so they really could not realize any of these goals, if they would not get the money. So it’s less of a way to get the supporters to support them more and more of a way to build up their game more with the help of their fans.

Depending on how much money you spend, you got assigned a certain tier with certain benefits. Some of them are access to behind the scenes when the game is in development, which is something me and my husband are looking forward to the most! Other benefits are in-game exclusives such as special clothing, decorative items or even pets you can own 🙂 But there are also “real” physical items such as very cute plushies, stickers and through the stretch goals, we also have reached the option of getting a hardcover version of the artbook for the game! Almost all of those benefits(minus the artbook!) are Kickstarter exclusive, so since the campaign already ended, sadly you won’t be able to get them anymore :/ But I will keep you updated and show you the ones that I got when they arrive! Actually, the exclusive plushies were part of the reason why I pledged 😛 The game itself looks super interesting too, but I can rarely say no to plushies xD The physical add-ons will ship at the beginning of 2023, so if you are interested in reading about it, save the date 😉

Why I am telling you this, you might ask. Well as I have mentioned in the beginning my idea was to share this campaign with as many people as possible because I think the game has very great potential and being part of its creation, sounds like a great adventure! Sadly now that the campaign is over, aside from following the developer fluffnest on Instagram, you can’t really join the adventure anymore. But as with the physical add-ons, I try to keep you updated at least a bit. Even though I still have to ask how much I am allowed to share. As for now let me tell you what of the parts of the game that have been teased, I am most interested in!
At 800k we unlocked a desert biome which is said to hold some secrets about the lore of the game. In my head, it’s kinda inspired by ancient Egypt even though there was no confirmation on that mental image from the developers so far 😛 Still, I am very grateful to know that the game even has a story, since at least Animals Crossing for me always lacked one. In general, I am happy that together with all the other backers we have collected enough money to unlock all of the possible biomes, making them as big and interesting as possible! So many things that can be explored^^ Multiplayer mode at first did not sound very exciting to me personally, but after the project reached over 2 million dollars and the amusement park biome was unlocked, I am now looking forward to it too 😉 How amazing could it be to meet up with friends in an amusement park to play minigames together and maybe after that explore each other’s islands?

Don’t get me wrong, I am super happy that the game reached so much money, but I am also super bumped that the post did not go online in time 🙁 So I hope you are all okay with me talking about it, even though you never had a chance to participate, at least not the way I planned too. But maybe you have found out about the game yourself, maybe you are a pen pal and we have talked about it in our letters or Instagram informed you about the campaign. Either way I hope you can be as excited as I am and if I am able too, I will make some update posts from time to time to inform you about the process of the development of the game 😉 If you want to further check out the game you can follow this link: *here* 🙂

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Gaming, Info Post, Personal Life | LEAVE A COMMENT
April 13

Ableism 101

As some of you know, I am studying sign language at a university in Germany, which means a huge part of that is also disabled studies in general. I don’t want to say I am an expert in the field, but I might do know a few more things about it than the average person does. And today is one of these days where I feel like I should share some of that knowledge I have gained with you.

The difference between the words “able” and “disable”

To talk about this topic we first need to define some of the words I will be using throughout this post, let’s start with the difference between “abled” and “disabled” people. Someone is considered “able” when the body they have been born into fits the criteria of what society views as “healthy” and “normal”, meaning just because of their body, they won’t be held back by society in any way(let’s ignore things like racism and sexism for the sake of this explanation). “Disabled” people, on the other hand, are born with or without something, which makes participating in our society harder for them.

So let’s imagine someone who is born with legs that can run, take stairs and be independent. Someone born without or with broken legs in some way, can’t run, can’t take stairs and often is not as independent, not because of their disability, but because society often forgets about them. They make buildings without ramps, without accessible toilets or even without big enough doors for a wheelchair to fit through. And because of those things, they are not able to be independent oftentimes.

In Germany, the translation of “disabled” is actually “behindert”, which would literally mean something like “being hindered to do something“. In this case, a wheelchair user would be hindered to access a building for one or multiple of the reasons I stated above. Their problem would not be their wheelchair in this case, but the fact that whoever build the building did not think of how a wheelchair user would enter. And that’s the general problem disabled people face in life, no matter what kind of disability they have.

What is ableism?

As I said earlier, for the sake of that explanation, we tried to not think of racism and sexism, which I think you all know the definition of already. Ableism is very similar, only that the minority group which is being discriminated against in this case are disabled people. This discrimination can look very obvious, in that for example someone is bullied for their “strange look” because the person might be fully blind and thus has nothing to focus on. But it can be less obvious too, sometimes people don’t even know that they are acting ableist.

A good example of that kind of behaviour is what led me initially to write this post. As you certainly know, there are different kinds of gadgets already developed, which are supposed to help disabled people be more independent in life. The wheelchair is one of the most obvious, but there are many many more. One thing that comes to my mind is a plate that has some cavities and a little stopper, to position food into. It was made to make people who only have one hand or one arm, be able to slice their food without someone else’s help.

But those two Gadgets seem very obvious and self-explanatory to me, and it looks like there are others, which confuse people. Just recently I saw a video of a chef making fun of a device which I can best describe as an egg cracker, but one that does the job for you. You lay an egg into position, grab the handle and press down and the raw egg falls down into your pan, ready to be cooked. This chef in the video did make it seems as if that was an “unnecessary contraption” and it would be so much easier to just break an egg with your hands, “it only needs practice”. That is straight-up ableist behaviour because not everyone has the dexterity or just the right body parts to be able to crack an egg open like that. So making fun of helpful devised is very discriminative, even though I am pretty sure, the chef from the video did not even think of what that gadget might have been actually used for.

Gadgets that benefit disabled people, can benefit us all

This indirect form of Ableism often springs from a lack of education, like it’s the problem with many different things. People often just don’t know and somehow don’t find out, that some devices have been invented with disabled people in mind. And not all of them only benefit them, many of them actually benefit everyone in society. Let me give you some examples.

With TikTok being at an all-time high and Instagram basically trying to copy its functions, short video-based content is all the rage these days. POV, subtitles, Speech-to-text and Voice Recognition are all already part of our daily lives, but have we stopped one second to think about how they are actually helping disabled people more than they help us? Subtitles may not have been designed for deaf people, but they help them engage with said media content, which would otherwise not be available to them. Speech to text is making writing texts digitally easier for blind people, and audiobooks basically only exist because of them.

Curb cuts, which I have often used owning a scooter since last year, were designed to help wheelchair users get across the street. Typewriters were originally designed to help blind people write a letter, back when that was still popular 😉 Even electrical toothbrushes were designed to help those limited motor skills and this list could go on for quite a while longer, but I think I got my point across.

Fin

With this post, I only hope to spread some more awareness and educate people on topics, which at least in my school time, were sadly on no one’s mind. Disabled people do exist in our society, they are part of it and should be treated as such. So next time you pick up something, which seems useless to you, before discarding the product altogether, think about how it might be able to help other people. Who knows, maybe it even sparks an idea for a new gadget in your head, which will become so popular in the future, that everyone will use it. I think in general, we should just think of other people more often and some of the problems we share on a worldwide level would disappear.

Category: Info Post | LEAVE A COMMENT
April 6

Witches Box – Ancient Egypt

On my blog, I like to share things with you, that I enjoyed very much or feel the need to recommend to you. Sometimes I also like to try out stuff, to find out if it’s actually worth buying or not, so you don’t have to 😉 The Box I want to present to you today is one of these things, which almost sounds too good to be true and is also quite expensive compared to other mystery-like boxes that I have reviewed here. It’s called Witches Box 3 and is part of a seasonal mystery Box series by the Etsy Shop Zwinkerglanz, which next to doing boxes as this one specialises in self-made jewellery and witchy decoration and the box cost 79€. In the end, I actually paid 20€ more, but it was only for one item especially made for me and I will let you know what it was, so you know what exactly was part of the box before. Let’s take a look at it together!

Before I tell you about the items, let me tell you a bit more about the idea behind this box. It does cater to people who actually are part of the witch culture, but also to people who just love the witchy atheistic and I would say personally I am somewhat in between those two, so it was kinda perfect for me 😉 You actually don’t get to see which items are in the box before they arrive, because the owner of the Shop has to prepare those items right before shipping. But if you do want to know what things are inside you get a beautifully made listing, it’s actually quite the long list which includes 11 items in total. Amongst them are different kinds of jewellery like a chocker and wristbands, decoration like an agate disc, an alter display and a flower-themed fabric fan, but also ritual based things like a small jar of incense, a set of tin jugs and more and more. Just looking at the number of items it quickly becomes obvious where the pricing is coming from. Since there are so many, I tried to sort them into 3 categories.

Jewellery

The mystery Ankh box…
One of the first things I got in the box was a smaller wooden box handpainted in gold with a black ankh in the middle. Technically that would be an item in and of itself, but it also contained two long bands made out of pearls, which can be worn both as necklaces or wristbands. The pearls are made out of a material that is not something I like to wear, my long hair gets caught up in it quick, but maybe I can still use it as decoration 🙂

A chocker with the eye of Horus…
The chocker is made out of a black velvet-like band with a charm that looks like the eye of Horus symbol from the ancient Egyptian culture or better Egyptian mythology. It’s also known as the Udjat eye, which supposedly was helping the god Horus win a fight against one of the evil powers from ancient stories the god Set and thus is often connected to properties such as luck, protection and healing. So it’s a great choice for something to wear I think and it does also look very cool. My only problem is a very individual one, which I should have considered earlier, so it’s totally my fault not the fault of the shop owner! For me personally, the black band is just too short to actually wear the chocker in a comfortable way around my neck. So I might end up just hanging it somewhere as decoration^^


A wristband with a scarab…
The scarab is a symbol of rebirth, which is also very nicely explained in one of the sheets of this box. It’s connected to real dung beetles(aka scarabs) who roll a ball of dung containing their eggs around to protect them. And when the eggs are old enough, newborn dung beetles will emerge, for the people in ancient Egypt that was a sign of rebirth. But it’s also connected to an Egyptian myth about the god Chepri rolling the sun around the horizon to make it rise up again every morning. Because the sun was and is so important to life and development on earth, the scarab is often used as a lucky charm and this is a great companion to the Udjat eye choker 😉

A handmade upper arm bracelet made to look like a snake…
As you can see in this picture it’s made out of a thicker wire to wrap around your arm, which ends in either one long or two short snakes depending on how you look at it. Again it’s something that does not really suit me, at least in the size which it is in if you don’t start bending the material, which I have not yet tried out. I can wear it on my forearm, but because it’s almost black it kinda vanished in between my black tattoos, so for now my husband is wearing it 😉 It does look quite cool, and I don’t know about material costs and everything, but I think it might have even looked a bit cooler, more special and more “Egyptian” to me if it would have been made to look golden. But that’s just a personal view of mine^^

Decoration

One big agate disc…
The agate disc is really fitting to the Egyptian theme, because of the colour scheme, it reminds me and also the shop owner herself(as stated on another explanation sheet) of the desert sand and general geography of the home of the pyramids 😉 She also stated that the stone is as natural as possible, only cut up and polished with oil, which I do find quite interesting. Since to be honest, I mostly thought you need to use some kind of chemical to make stones shine like that, but I am positively surprised! Agate stones are said to boost self-confidence, sharpen communication skills and support health and good dreams 🙂 So I will definitely try and put the disc up in my bedroom! Especially when the sun is shining through it looks mesmerizing.


A handmade bookmark with cartouche pearls…
There has been a lot of thought gone into designing this special bookmark and I really want to share that with you. At first, it’s made to look golden, because as I mentioned before golden is something often associated with Egypt even though same as today, not everybody was able to afford it. The so-called Cartouches were used to put the name of pharaohs onto graves, paintings and visual stories in general, the names on the two which are part of the bookmark are made up though 😉 Connecting the two is an infinity symbol because infinity was very important to the idea the people had back then about life, death and everything in between. Unlike in Buddism where rebirth is a big part of their religion, back in the day, the Egyptian people thought that there was a life after death for which they had to prepare in many different ways, so this symbol is referring to that. Last but not least the flower is the lotus blossom which seemingly was the crest flower of the northern part of Egypt. I really love how everything looks together and I am looking forward to seeing it hang from my books 😉

A flowerthemed farbic fan…
The biggest connection to Egypt with this item is probably the heat. And with German summers getting hotter and hotter every year, this seems to be a good accessory to have in my bag! I do love the design, but I don’t know how durable the thin wooden plates are. Guess I will find out within the next few months 😉

A bag with an Egypt design…
This item does look a bit like something you would have gotten as a souvenir from Egypt, but I don’t think that has to be a bad thing! I actually like the very typical design depicting two gods and it has the perfect size to either keep some healing crystals with you or maybe put your money away in a stylish way^^ It must be one of the Items I was looking forward to the most and I am pleasantly surprised to hold it in my hands. It’s bigger than I thought and I really appreciate getting some healing crystals with it(which would not have been included normally, but the owner knew that I wanted to use the bag to carry some^^)! The design is sewn into both the back and the front and on the zipper, there is a little protection against the evil eye, which I do find very fitting to the theme overall 🙂

Rituals Items

A set of tin jugs…
As the owner explains yet again, water was always very important in a dry country such as Egypt so it became almost holy in a way. This is why jugs full of water were something very promising and also the reason why the owner might have included those. They can be used for rituals where pouring water is involved but of course, they can also just be some nice decoration for around the house 😉

A jar filled with silver incense and one with gold tinsel(flakes)…
These ritual based items connect many things from ancient Egypt with another: Incense which was seen as the fragrance of the gods, Silver as a very rare but sought after material and gold as the sign of infinity and the divine since it never loses its shine. Even though it’s not real gold, it does like pretty similar 😉 In the explanations sheets, the owner gives some ideas of which rituals or for which spells those items can be used. Nothing which I personally am confident with right now, but maybe I can use it someday in the future^^

A self-cast altar display with ankh…
The display is made out of plaster and it’s supposed to be painted, which I did kinda expect after browsing through the Etsy store before buying the box. If I would not have thought, I think I might have expected something different, something more “finished”. I just feel like the ankh symbol does not really come through with all the other great details when it’s all this chalk white. Sadly colouring in things is really not my speciality I just don’t have enough patience for that xD I know that if you would buy a plaster cast like that in her shop, it would come with the possibility of the owner painting it for me, which I would have liked to have here too honestly. I am a bit sad that it was not stated as an option in the description of the box. But the cast itself is very detailed and beautiful, just not an activity for me personally.

Explanation Sheet and Story…
I tried to include some of the many times when the owner used the sheets to explain why she included an item or its connection to ancient Egypt itself. She also included some fun facts and interesting knowledge, some of which were even a bit unknown to me and I was fascinated with ancient Egypt even before receiving this box! The story she included actually revolved less around magic and more around love, which did throw me off a bit because I was expecting something different, but it was still a pleasant read and we also get some other nice reading recommendations which I will definitely take a look into in the future! All of the sheets also have been designed in a beautiful way, with a frame and different illustrations.

Personalised agate Cartouche necklace…
Last but not least, let me tell you why I actually paid more for the box than originally intended. The box is basically a kind of recommendation of items you might like following a specific theme, but if there is something you don’t want to get because you already own it or it does not interest you as much, you can get it exchanged for something else. I asked for two long Candles to be removed since long-term I can’t really use candles for much, since I am not allowed to lite them in my apartment in Hamburg. We thought about what I wanted to exchange it for and in the end, there were two items that REALLY interested me from her shop. One was a small bag with an intricate design and the other one was a necklace made out of crystals in a way that I had never seen before. Long story short: I got both and needed to pay extra for the necklace 😛 But it was worth it! The necklace was even designed specifically after my idea to make it look like a Cartouche from ancient Egypt, which I absolutely love <3 So technically it could have been part of the box and it would have even fit the theme, but it’s not in there normally. Whereas the small bag was actually a surprise extra for the first people who got the box and I managed to get the last one. If you would get the OG Box, instead of both of these items you would get two long red and gold candles with a sun and a moon on them.

Final Verdict

Actually, I got my mind blown by this box, because it can barely be compared to anything which I have ever gotten for myself. Of course, the mystery element feels familiar, but the sheer amount of stuff, the love and care that went not only into making but also packaging the items and the very nice chats I had with the Etsy owner, made this into a very special experience for me. The Jewelry she made feels special, some items seem really unique to me and the explanations, further instructions and extra knowledge that she provided makes getting this box a vital recommendation for me if you are interested in learning something about a new topic(ancient Egypt in this case) and getting a variety of things connected to it.

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Crystals, Mystery Box, Witchy Things | LEAVE A COMMENT
March 9

The Next Step On My Crystal Journey – Scultupres And Crystal Carvings!

Welcome back to everyone who already read my last article, where I talked about how I started my crystal journey and hello to everyone who is new 😉 If anybody wants to refresh their memory or has just not read my other post, you can do so *here*. In this one, I want to tell you what happened since and also show you how my crystal collection grew, while mostly using pictures from the Etsy Shop where I got all of them. That’s because crystals are actually very hard to photograph if you don’t have the right set-up and I want to show all of them to you in their full beauty, but I will always link the shop and I highly recommend checking it out, if crystals are something you are interested in 😉 So, all rights for the pictures are reserved by the Etsy Shop Owner from MariMagicShop!

So, in my last post, I talked about how I was curious to see if those crystals actually have some kind of healing energy to them, which could help me balance my life a bit. To this, I have to say, that I probably don’t use them right at the moment. Because it’s not like you get those crystals and they will just give you the energy that you need, it’s actually connected to some effort you have to do to make them work. Mainly charging them with energy from like the sun and the moon or other crystals and also cleansing them with certain rituals like smoke and water. Most of these things I was not able to do in the last month because of different reasons, being my mental health and personal problems mostly. The only times where I really tried it out was when I charged my clear crystals with moonlight on the day when I got a new vaccination shot or the day before(Coincidentally both times there was a full moon, so that’s why I was tempted to try it out :P). I was hoping to not get any side effects from those shots and I have to say that I did not have any. But I don’t feel like I have done things like that often enough to actually be able to say: “Yes, that happened because of my charged crystals” xD This is why I will refrain from saying anything definitive at the moment, maybe you will hear more about it in a future update 😉

What I can tell you though, is that I got into a kind of sub-scene of crystals which is focussing on buying and selling crystal statues or crystal carvings. I am not 100% sure if those are the correct words in English but just for explanation: If I talk about sculptures I mean 360° fully sculpted stones and when I talk about carvings I mean stones that might be flat on one side, but have a cool carving on the other side. I actually got different ones within the last month and I really wanted to share them with you, because healing energy or not, they make me really happy 🙂

All rights for the pictures are reserved by the Etsy Shop Owner from MariMagicShop

The first one I got right after Halloween, which I guess is pretty obvious because it’s a sculpture that’s made to look like a Halloween pumpkin wearing a witch’s hat^^ I felt it was very fitting to me and my personality since I love Halloween, which pumpkins are a universal sign for and as you know I also love hats(and would love to own one like that one day too xD). It’s made from a high-quality orange calcite crystal which is said to have some powerful cleansing energies but also helps speed up development and growth. Which is why I feel like it’s a great stone to have around and obviously the perfect choice colourwise for a pumpkin sculpture^^ I always have it around when I work and I especially love the way the had was done, it looks almost as it would have a life of it own 😉

All rights for the pictures are reserved by the Etsy Shop Owner from MariMagicShop

The next crystal sculpture I got is an anatomically correct(supported by a friend of mine who is getting trained in a medical field :P) heart made out of silver sheen black obsidian, which looks absolutely stunning, doesn’t it? Like most black stones the obsidian stone stands for protection and also are said to help calm down, which is what I really need most of the time. It’s also the perfect size to squeeze in between my hands when I am feeling really anxious. And you know when some people like to say something needs to be as black as their soul? I kinda feel like that heart has the same vibes 😛 Kinda badass and powerful 😉

All rights for the pictures are reserved by the Etsy Shop Owner from MariMagicShop

With this one, it’s less of a full sculpture and more a decorative piece made out of a crystal orb and a mystical deer holder. I actually got those on my birthday this year and maybe I just want to show them off xD That’s why I am taking them in, even though they might not 100% fit the theme of this post 😛 The deer is made out of wood and the orb is made out of a so-called honey calcite crystal, which looks great combined! The honey calcite is said to give more self-confidence, drive and perseverance in problem situations. The deer does not do anything special besides holding it in place, but it does that very well 😛 Together they are perfect to put next to my bed when sleeping to hopefully prepare me for the next stressful day or just put a smile on my face when I wake up to look at them^^

All rights for the pictures are reserved by the Etsy Shop Owner from MariMagicShop

Here I’ve got the first “carving” which is portraying an owl holding a skull in a very stunning way. The carving is made out of labradorite which has been polished and shines in very nice colours under the right light. Labradorite is said to encourage creativity, spur imagination and strengthen memory. I got it to put next to the laptop or keyboard to help me be productive but also have something cool to look at while doing work and stuff xD Which make the fact that it has a flat back very useful actually! Looking forward to having it with me always^^

In the end, I have to say that I am pretty happy with everything that I got so far, it really brightens up my mood to look at my crystals, rearrange or just touch and feel them from time to time. At this point, I don’t care about the genuineness of the energy behind them, to be honest, but of course, should I become a believer someday, I will let you know 😉

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Crystals, Personal Life, Witchy Things | LEAVE A COMMENT
February 2

Normalizing violence against children on TikTok & other video-platforms

The “Throw A Shoe” Trope

I know this is a bold headline but hear me out. I don’t have TikTok, but I use Instagram a lot and since they “invented” the Reel feature, many TikTokers repost their stuff on there too. So without actually using TikTok, I have an idea of how the app functions and know that there are many different things you can do with it. What started as a platform where people would mostly sing and dance to tunes, is now used for educational tutorial videos, cute pet videos and also comedic videos. The last one is what I want to focus on today, because that was the most problematic I have seen. I don’t want to condemn anyone, I don’t want people to unfollow anyone, I really only want to spread awareness of the topic, because I feel like many creators just don’t know what kind of impact their work can have. So if you are interested in what I have to say and what I find out, this post is for you 🙂

Scrolling through the reels on Instagram has become some kind of routine for me, to do when I am bored. And I mostly adore the cool art videos, cute pets to look at and I do laugh and many videos with a comedic intention behind them too. But from watching these videos so often, there is one trope in particular which I have seen being used very often and very naively. Oftentimes, when I see a video situation or a POV describing a child – parent relationship, it’s about the kid doing something “wrong” and the adult either actively using violence or at least treated to use it. And the comedic idea behind this seems to indicate some kind of shared childhood memory of parents beating up their children. The trope which I have seen used the most is a parent, using their shoes or sandals to hit the child or throw at them.

You see where I live, in the whole country of Germany, beating up your children is actually against the law and I do know it’s not the same everywhere. But I still think hitting an innocent child, to make them “understand” something is never the right way to deal with a problem. It can even lead to trauma in the child, physically and psychologically and it’s always the better option to talk it out or choose non-violent penatlty like house arrest to raise children. The world is changing and I think beating up your children really is not modern anymore and might even be forbidden in more countries than you would think. Especially now with Corona and families being forced to stay in a house together for longer, that topic has arisen again.

Children between 12-years and 17-years use TikTok on a weekly basis

The problem I have with those kinds of videos is not the shared memory behind it, which is a concept often used in comedy. Where we laugh about something because we experienced it ourselves and have this “Yes, that’s true!” -moment, often amusing us and taking us back to a certain experience. I guess with violence, it’s more of a dark humour kind of thing, which I am not against in general. But if we think about who the audience of apps like TikTok is, mostly young children and teenagers, we should think more about how it affects them. Because for them, seeing such behaviour and adults laughing about it, will make them think it’s normal. And when they think it’s normal and gets beaten up themselves, they won’t do anything about it.

I don’t think children should be strong enough to defend themselves against an adult physically and mentally, but in a situation like this, they also won’t consider asking for help, because they might fear they get laughed at, just like people laugh at these videos. So what I would want to propose is for the people who make these comedic videos to stop and think about if they need to portray a story they want to tell in this way, or if there is no other way to deliver the message, without normalizing violence for all the children watching. And also, to not include these kinds of tropes in videos with a totally different meaning.

Hitting children seemingly has become a part of pop culture

Because what actually got me to want to talk about this topic here on my blog, is that I found this trope being used in a completely different context. Instead of describing a child – parents relationship, it was used in a POV for Squid Games. Basically, the video was about how Squid Games could look like in Germany and what kind of games might be played and it is joked about crossing the road. For context: In Germany, people really stop at a red light as pedestrians and only cross the road when the green light comes up. Mostly because if you don’t do it that way, a mother, a father or some old people will actually come up to you and scold you, saying stuff like “Think about the kids and what they will do when they see you crossing the street when the red light is up“, which is especially ironic in the context of this post.

Instead of being scolded like I just mentioned the person in the video was actually hit with a shoe by the grandmother who saw them cross the street with the red light on. And the thing is: the message could have been delivered in a very different way. You could have made the grandmother stare you down, animated superman-like laser eyes or actually have them scold you. But instead, the creator choose to use the trope normally connected to beating up children, because it was considered to be a “funny thing”. And now think about the children and what they will think, seeing us laughing about something like this.

As a creator, you always have the responsibility to think of your target audience when creating and this gets more and more important in modern times. I see many activists talk about their topics with Trigger warnings or videos being subtitled so that deaf people can have fun with them too. Why not think about why you choose to portrait violence in such a unique way and if it’s necessary, next time you make a fun video. That’s all I want to achieve with this post, for people to just think a bit more about their actions and act accordingly. I don’t want to tell anyone how to live their life, but to try and stop sharing unnecessary violence, not just for the children, but for a better society in general.

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Info Post | LEAVE A COMMENT
January 19

Happy Birthday to us!

By now my blog will be exactly one year old, my first post was published on the 19th or January 2021 🙂 Congrats to me and thanks you to all of the people who have read my posts, talked to me about it and subscribed to this little project of mine! When I started, I did not really know where I was going. I just wanted to write about stuff I am passionate about, connect with people and maybe share some of my views. After one year, I think there are some things I want to try and change for the better. Posting more regularly, structure my longer posts in a better way and just make it a greater experience for all of us! You could say those are my new years’ resolutions(or at least some of them) for 2022 😉

Though the start into the new year sadly was not a great one for me personally. I really wanted to make a post about our new years’ traditions, but we did not get to do all of them, because we had a tragic loss in the family. As I want to keep my privacy, I won’t explain that further for now, but please be a bit patient with me, especially about my new years’ resolutions and what kind of posts there will be within the next weeks.
I have not yet decided which subscriptions to keep, which ones to cancel or which new ones to take on. I also have not yet published reviews about all of the subscriptions I started last year and I can’t say when they will be scheduled. So if you were looking forward to monthly reviews of subscription or mystery boxes, it might take a while until it’s all sorted out. But when it is, I hope that we will all be happy with it 🙂

There are also will be some more commentary-like posts in the future, which I had actually already written last year but I was not happy with how they looked and how they were structured. As you may have seen with my last post about Sexism in Cartooning, Manga and Anime, I already tried out something new. Don’t hesitate to let me know how you liked it! Some similar posts might be coming soon since as I just mentioned I basically already prepared them months ago and it’s a bit easier for me to finish and upload them than to come up with totally new stuff right now. Still, those posts are talking about some topics which are very important to me, so they are not bad (I hope) but just different to the posts you were used to seeing here. But I promise there will be light-hearted posts and reviews still in the future!

The picture at the beginning was drawn by myself and I am very happy about the progress I have made so far. Drawing people is still hard for me, I have learned some really useful tips and tricks for digital drawing in the last weeks! Surely I will tell you some more about it in an upcoming post too. Currently, I am still thinking about creating a new Instagram account just for my art, if I do, I will let you know 😉 Maybe I will even post some more drawings on here, we will see 😛

And last but not least I have something reaaaaally exciting to tell you! Since most of my regular viewers here are actually some of the penpals I have met on the App “Slowly”, I know from many of them that they want to learn German^^ I am no teacher myself, but they have told me that exchanging letters with me in German from time to time is really helpful 🙂 So I decided that I want to at least try(we will see how well it works later xD) to write my posts in both English AND German! I will have to see in which order I will update the later posts, hopefully, all of the posts in the future will be available in both languages. Maybe it’s just interesting for you to switch between them and try to understand some German 😉 Or maybe it really is helpful for your learning progress! Either way, I am really excited about this, as another feature for my blog in 2022!

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Info Post, Personal Life | LEAVE A COMMENT
December 1

Other Books in the Grishaverse (as possible Christmas presents?)

I had some trouble recently, which is why I was not able to upload any posts for some weeks. I do not only want to apologize for that, but also inform you that this post was meant to be uploaded at the beginning of the month xD But I guess if you still need to find a last-minute Christmas present, it could be a cool idea or just to plan any presents for the future, an upcoming birthday perhaps 😉 Enjoy!

It’s December and 2021 is ALMOST OVER! That does not only mean we have soon successfully lived through another year with Covid but also that Christmas is coming. And even though I am not the biggest fan of Christmas tradition and celebration, of course, I love the gift-giving part 😉 In this post, I not only want to talk about some books I bought but also why they might be the perfect Christmas presents for some of your loved ones! The books I will be focusing on are all written by Leigh Bardugo the famous author of the books on which the Netflix Series “Shadow and Bone” is based on. If you are following my blog for at least some months, you know that I have recently reviewed the series on Netflix and the books and then compared them. That’s why I won’t be talking about them in detail, but of course, if someone has neither seen the Web series nor read the books, those are the ones you should start with, to introduce someone into the story. So they alone make a great present. But if you know someone loved the show or read the first books already, here are some more they will love <3 (Spoiler-free!)

The Demon in the Wood
This is a rather small book, thus not even published as a paperback but available as an eBook everywhere online! With around 50cts this is one of the most affordable out of all the gifts and it’s about the biggest Villan of the Series! Basically, it is a short story about how he became the man we got to know in the books and the Netflix series. I really look forward to reading it myself and actually, when I heard there was a book about him, I had hoped for a 400-page long one, but I will take the 60 pages with little remorse. I am sure they are interesting still, just finished very quickly :/ But beware, this story will hold big spoilers for people who have never seen the series or read the books(especially book 1), everyone else should be able to enjoy this story spoilerfree^^

The Tailor
Same as “The Demon in the Wood” this one is a short story as well, roughly around the same price point and with the same amount of Spoiler alert! But instead of being about the main villain of the series, this story is about a character who is highly debated upon by fans, whether she was a good or bad character. Some say that this eBook helped them understand her and her actions better. Also for completion, every fan of the series will LOVE to have this in their hands 😉

The Six of Crows
The Duology of the Crows chronologically takes place before the Grishaverses original trilogy, but it’s technically not a prequel because it’s not about Alina and Mal from the books, but rather about the band of thieves you get to meet and love in the Netflix Series. Netflix actually took the characters from these books and wove them into the Sun Summoners Story, which for me personally was a great choice. I was actually a bit disappointed to not read about them when I picked up the first books. So if your friend or partner was as excited to see the group on screen as I was, they will love to read these books about their origin story. Some even say they prefer these over the main story books because of their amazing writing and narrative, but I let you or the person receiving it as a gift decide on that 😉

The Lives of the Saints
This one is actually not a storybook, in the sense that it does not bring something new to the table if you have already read the OG trilogy. But rather it’s a book that is mentioned in that story and has a big significance for the characters and their goals. I am sure everybody who loves the series, would love to keep something like this as a collector’s item maybe or to feel even more immersed into the story than before, by holding the book in their hands, which Alina holds in her own. It’s beautifully illustrated on the cover, but also on the inside. Every new chapter begins with a piece of artwork and I can see how this resembles some form of holy text for some in the Grishverse, it certainly looks like it 😉

The Language of the Thornes
Similar to “The Lives of the Saints” this book could be found in Ravka, but as far as I can remember it was not really mentioned in the Trilogy. It’s less significant than the other book is, but you could kinda compare it to the fairytale books published by J.K. Rowling as a kind of add-on to the Harry Potter series. It’s said to be a collection of folklore told in the world of the series, some more insights into peoples lives, and some further information for fans to better understand the world, one of their favourite stories takes place in 🙂 Like “The Lives of the Saints” stories are fully illustrated too and the way they did it is really cool and kinda magical!

The Severed Moon
This one is especially gift-worthy because it’s actually a diary! You might have heard about the new diaries which have writing prompts in them, said to motivate people more to actually write something down daily. “The Served Moon” is such a book, created by the author of the Grishaverse books for fans of the series. It holds some magical writing prompts and quotes from the books, with beautiful illustrations on the out and on the inside. And it’s said to last for a year, what great gift to give on Christmas for a friend or a loved one to start the new year with 🙂 We all need some magic in 2022 I believe xD

Kings of Scars & Rule of Wolves
This Duology I have saved for last, because technically to avoid all kinds of spoilers you should read these books last. They take place after the story of Alina and Mal ends one way or the other with the third book of the original trilogy. And they may or may not(really trying not to say anything wrong here xD) lead on some stories of characters we have already gotten to know, but they most likely will point to events that have already happened. So to be safe, I would only gift this to someone who I know has already finished or at least bought all the other books, so that they can read them in the correct, spoiler-free order. But if you are very generous this Christmas and want to gift all of the Grishaverse books to someone(who will be very thankful, I am sure) then these books should not be missing, because as far as I know, they will conclude all of the stories Leigh Bardugo told in her magical series.

I hope you have gotten some gift ideas now and I guess I wish you all a Merry Christmas already! Celebrate if that’s your thing or try to get through the time like I do and look forward to next years Halloween again xD

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: Book Review, Personal Life | LEAVE A COMMENT
October 28

What’s Halloween like in Germany?

It’s October, the spookiest month of the year leading up to Halloween! I am actually always pretty excited about this time of year, I love the aesthetics very much and you could say it’s my favourite holiday! Since it’s the first time Halloween comes around while I am writing for this blog, I decided to make a post about it and tell you what Halloween is like in Germany. I hope it will be fun and interesting and if you still have any lingering questions about it, feel free to ask them in the comment section^^

First things first, technically Halloween is not a Holiday in Germany, meaning that you don’t get a day off because of it. But you will either have the 31st of October be a holiday or the 1st of November, that’s because most of Germany’s holidays are actually tied to the christian religion and those, in particular, are celebrated because of Martin Luther and his reformation of the church. I actually know no one who is actually “celebrating” that in any way, but still, we get a day off and I think most people actually use it to celebrate Halloween 😉 This is actually why some older or very religious people are against it being celebrated at all. They feel robbed in a way, but more on that topic later.

Similar to Christmas when the spooky season starts you can buy candies and decorations in every store. Sadly it’s not 3 months or more before the actual holiday, but we are happy about what we get, right? You can buy bat-shaped gummies, sceletons, and cobwebs to hang from your door, and of course pumpkins! Although I have to say that not as many people will create Jack-o-Laterns to put up in front of their door in Germany. My family actually never did, but that was less due to us not wanting to have fun carving out a pumpkin and displaying it and more about not really liking the taste of it and not wanting to waste everything that gets scooped out. Maybe Germans just are not into Pumpkin spice as much as the rest of the world is xD

Everybody is celebrating differently, some people like to lead up to the holidays by reading spooky books or watching horror films, other people only wait for the 31st to come, so they can finally dress up. These days it’s pretty normal for children to dress up in mostly spooky costumes to go around trick or treading, ringing at doorbells and asking people for candy. Because it has become so popular in Germany, most people will actually have something ready to give them. And the very advanced ones will have their whole yard decorated to scare them 😛 I always loved to dress up and run around, it was not even about the candies I have collected, in the end, I often gave them to my friends anyways. It was just cool to take on a role and present it to everyone. I did it until I was 15 years old, when an old grumpy grandpa open the door and asked me how I dared to participate in these child-like activities. At my age, he supposedly was already fighting in a war or something.

It’s not that I have lost all of my passion for Halloween that night, but I was less eager to around and let old people insult me for what I loved. Gladly at that time, I was in a theater group and every year around Christmas we were asked to get dressed up and spook around a shopping area, to make it more of an event to go shopping around the holiday. It was really great because we not only went from shop to shop and screamed at people, we did really make a show out of it. Sometimes we would do something similar to a zombie walk or we would try and keep still for about 5 minutes, which was actually what fascinated the people the most. It was also pretty great to just have more options on what to wear with all the normal theater costumes and other people doing the scary makeup for you. My favorite Halloween costume I ever wore and got to act in was a broken porcelain doll. I got special white paint which cracks up over time and a very cute dress and when I walked in the shopping aisle I tried to do it as puppet-like as possible. Sadly I have no picture of it, but it will always be one of my favorite memories.

There are Halloween parties too for all the people who are too old to go trick or treating but still want to dress up. I actually can’t talk too much about it, because despite my love for this holiday, I never went to one. Can’t really say why maybe because the opportunity never came up or because I imagined these parties more being made for people to get drunk and less for spooking around in costumes. I am sure those are fun for some people and it’s great that adult people are allowed to enjoy the Halloween spirit there too. Maybe one day I will go to one, this year I have other plans, but we will see if that will work out for me or not.

Lastly, I want to talk about people who hate Halloween in Germany. Like I mentioned some Christians have a big problem with it, mostly because they have a holiday of their own where the children are allowed to dress up and go around asking for candies. But I assume it’s less fun because you are not allowed to dress up as a mommy or witch for example and not nearly as many people prepare for it. If I remember correctly their holiday is in January and if a child would knock on my door then, I hardly would have any candy to give them. Old people also often hate Halloween, not only because of the experience I have made, with them thinking it’s only for little kids, but also because of how Halloween changed over the years. Because I would say that yes, the Halloween we are celebrating in Germany today, is heavenly influenced by how the Americans are celebrating it. But that does not have to be a bad thing, right? Fewer people complain about how we celebrate Christmas and it’s basically the same thing. All influenced by Hollywood films 😛

If you’d ask me Halloween is for everyone who can enjoy it. If you don’t like creepy crawlers or skeletons being hung up, you don’t have to celebrate it. If you feel like it’s too much, stay inside and not answer your doorbell, it’s totally up to you. But if you get any joy out of dressing up, running around playing a role, or decorating your house with cobwebs, don’t let yourself be stopped. Other people like to crochet, you might be into pumpkin carving, age really does not matter here. Do what you love and what makes you happy. I plan to go on a little celebration in one of the tattoo studios I got tattooed in this year. They make different events like pumpkin carving, preparing a spooky Labrinth, and Halloween-themed games. I don’t think I will be able to attend all of them, but I really like the idea and effort behind it. And after last Halloween was very uneventful because of Corona, I try to enjoy it even more. Happy Halloween everyone!

Greetings and good wishes
The Madd Hattress

Category: Personal Life | LEAVE A COMMENT
September 30

Bisexuality and Pansexuality – Why is there a war?

If you are part of the community or just very informed(good for you^^) you have heard of the two words “Bisexual” and “Pansexual” and you might also have heard about the “war” that’s going on between them. If you have no idea what I am talking about, or you know the topic, but don’t understand it fully, this post might be for you. I am trying to describe the problems that the community is facing from the perspective of a bisexual woman. I by no means want to say I know everything and what I say is law, it’s just how I understand the situation and my opinion on the subject.

Let’s start by talking about why labels are so important for so many people, using the Acronym for the community as a whole. Most commonly knows as LGBTQ (I don’t think I need to explain the first few letters and what they stand for) the Q can stands for either queer as a general term or questioning, as in you know you are not straight but you have not found the right term for yourself yet. But there is also the acronym LGBTQ+, LGBTQQAI, and even longer versions. Basically, it’s just letters that represent certain sexualities, relationship forms, or identities and it’s getting longer and longer every year because new terms are coming up. I have decided to use the term LGBTQ+ because it includes the founding members of the communities rights movement, queer to incorporate whoever does not want to pick a certain label, and the “+” for acknowledging that there are many more terms that belong to the community, but I don’t want to write out 20 letters or more every time I talk about the it. So for me, it’s a good way to represent everyone, but for someone who let’s say is asexual, it might not be, since their letters are not part of it, visibility. So they might use LGBTQA+ or something entirely different. It’s hard to say what’s right because that can differ from person to person and the same goes for the terms bi- and pansexuality, or does it not?

I will start to talk about the history of the word bisexual very briefly, not only because I identify as such, but also because it just exists longer. And when I say that, I mean that the word was mentioned first in the year 1892, where keep in mind we did not have many of the other words we use today, like transsexual or non-binary for example. But as far as I know it was not used to say you are interested in “both” genders. Yes at that time they might have talked about only two since most people were only aware of two, but “two” was never in the definition, to begin with. It was just a term used to say you were neither only interested in your own gender nor other ones, but both at the same time. And most bisexual people I know, still use this definition today, including myself.

Pansexual seems to have come up as a term with the rise of the internet, but it was also used way back in the past. It was first mentioned in the early 20st century but in a completely different way of how we use it today. I think as a term it really came together with the emerge of the pansexual pride flag in 2010. The colors pink, yellow, and blue are supposed to stand for the different gender Identities we had labels for at that time and being attracted to all of them. So the way I understand it, as trying to be different from the already existing word bisexual, they wanted to get away from the “binary thinking” and acknowledged that there are other identities too. The problem with that is, that the term bisexual already did that too.

The way I see the bisexual pride flag and many other bisexual people do too is that the blue stands for male read people(trans or cisgender), the pink stands for female read people(again, trans or cisgender), and the purple in the middle is a mixture between that, so for me, that also includes everything in-between and also people who don’t want to identify with those genders at all. Some people also say that the blue stands for the attraction to your own gender, where as the pink stands for the attraction to other genders and the purple means that it’s not always 50/50 but still is a mixture between those two attractions. For me both of these interpretations lead to the same conclusion: You see, even if the word bisexual might have had any binary meaning in the past, like many other words in our language it has evolved beyond that.

Let’s take a little digression and talk about the womxn/womyn debate. I try to keep it short. There was a feminist group that did not like that there was the word “men” in the word “women” so they decided they need to change it somehow. So they thought of replacing the “e” with an “x”, still the same pronunciation, but no “men” included anymore, literally. Because those feminists were very radical and they said only “real” women (meaning cisgender women) should be allowed to use the term.
This of course was very exclusive and offense, so another less radical feminist group came up with the idea of replacing the letter yet again, creating the word “womyn”, still the same pronunciation, but this time they allowed ALL women to use it, transgender and cisgender alike. I do get why that needed to be done, because the first word was obviously made with not-so-good intentions, so they had to replace it to make it inclusive again.
Now I feel that is very reminiscent of how the debate between pansexual and bisexual people goes along. It really feels sometimes as if they think we are like the “womxn” people and they needed to come in and be the “womyn” people, but that’s just not the case.

And that actually leads to the biggest problem I have with part of the pansexual community, which is that they are trying to replace the term bisexuality with the term pansexuality completly, to be “more modern”. And that feels wrong to me on so many levels. It feels like they are trying to explain our sexuality to us, make it look bad and then try to make us use the term they use, even though it might not feel right for many people. They are also trying to erase the history and activisms work, maybe not on purpose, but that’s what would come out of replacing the word too. Of course not all pansexuals do that! And I guess, I get it, to some extent. Because if we look at it the way I explained it, those are two words for the same thing and I guess that’s where this thought of “war” is coming from: The two terms and maybe even the two communities fight for their existence.

Sadly I can’t provide a solution to this problem, other than trying to ignore the fact that both terms are basically discribing the same thing and tring to kinda not talk about it? But I don’t think that would be something we could hold up for long. I don’t want to say one term is better than the other and I totally get wanting to be inclusive, that’s always a great thing. I just don’t think coming up with a new word would have been nessesary in the first place.
I always like to think, that someone just interpreted the term “bisexuality” wrong and than went out and told his friends about it, being angered by how excluvie it sounded and coming up with their own “better” term. So I thought if we can provide the right explanation, the need for other word would just vanish. But I think at this point it has gone beyong this possible missunderstanding, which lead us to this “war” inside of the community.
I hope one day we can come to some kind of understanding, however that might look like then. Because as a community we should not only fight together, rather than fighting each other, but we also have problems in society still to face. And I think we should not get distracted from that, by analysing what seems to be “problematic” about each other and the concepts about our identies.

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

Category: LGBTQ+, Personal Life | LEAVE A COMMENT
September 23

I Am Bisexual – My Coming-Out Story

I am thinking about writing some more personal posts recently since I feel like in the last months you got to see reviews mostly 😛 So talking about tattoos was a good start since it’s a topic I am very passionate about, but now I want to get a bit more personal with talking about my sexuality. It’s something I have been very open about since realizing I am in fact bisexual, but I feel like now more than ever it’s important to actually speak about it. That’s mostly because I got into activism a little bit over the course of the last year and I came across the question of “is a coming-out really still necessary?” and “Do we need bisexuality as a term?” way too often. So I’d like to give my opinion on the subject at hand, but keep in mind that it is only that my opinion 😉

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? I actually came out as bisexual after my first relationship. Before that I’d say I had other things to worry about and with the constant bullying at school, I just did not think about love or sex that much, since I did not think I would get a partner soon. But after I did get one, some wheels began to turn, especially after the break-up. Since romantic relationships were a topic on my mind now and my last partner happened to be pansexual, I thought about what love and sex meant to me and whom I would like to share them with in the future. And I came to the realization very quickly that I did not really distinguish between men and women(non-binary and trans people came later since that was the start of my LGBTQ+ journey and I did not even really know what these terms meant back then).

I did really come out right after I had this thought in my head since I wanted to talk about the possibility of what that means and if that’s really how I feel or if I was just confused(spoiler warning: I was not xD). So I talked with my mother, who is not really educated on the whole LGBTQ+ topic, but she still tried to understand what I was telling her, and even though she could not really wrap her head around it, she was supportive from the start. I know that I was very lucky with that since I did not really have to be in the closet hiding for any time really. My father does not know about my sexuality to this day, but that’s a whole other story and I actually have no idea what his reaction would be, genuinely don’t know if he would be mad, supportive, or not care about it at all xD So that’s where my story might differ from all of the queer people whose parents were too homophobic to create an environment where they would have felt safe to come out.

I am aware of my privileges being a white girl raised by an open-minded mother, but I really don’t like this idea of the LGBTQ+ community being build on the foundation of pain. I actually had a talk with a gay guy I knew at school, who was closeted for a long time because of his homophobic father. He told me that I would never know what it was like to wake up knowing that you are a disgrace to your family and that I could just live a happy life passing a straight if I wanted to. But what he did not realize back then was that I could not just ignore my queerness and pretend to be straight and also if passing as straight would come as an advantage, they would be passing as gay in a straight community too? It was not, actually, I always felt like I belonged to neither of them and that was a feeling he might never understand. But that’s okay, because it’s about the pain we share or not share, it’s about being different and embracing it.

Let’s jump some years into the future and look at where I am now. I am actually happily married to a man, which comes with new problems. The first question I was asked after being married was if I decided to be straight again now. No, I did not, I never decided to do anything, not even to be bisexual. Maybe I decided on the label but I am not actively deciding what people I feel attracted to. And these attractions did not stop just because I am married, which does not mean I want to have sex with everyone I meet, but I can still find women and non-binary people hot, despite being in a monogamous relationship with a cis-man. Fortunately, my husband does understand me better than most people and has zero problems with the whole concept of being married to a bisexual wife. We even like to joke about it sometimes or talk about women we both find attractive. But knowing that other people read me as being straight just because I am married to a man, always bothered me.

It might feel strange to people who never had to think about this, gay and straight people alike because either you are always assumpted to be straight from the get-go or you are at least perceived to be gay because of your same-sex partner. I always have to remind people about being bisexual still, but sometimes I don’t even get the chance to do that. Not everyone who sees me and my husband strolling around gets into a conversation with me and of course, me being bisexual is not the first thing that would come up anyway. And you might think: Why is that so important to you? My answer is because that’s part of who I am. When people see me and label me as straight, they take away a part of what makes me, me. I have thought about that A LOT lately and finally decided to get a tattoo, which will empower me to at least somewhat be able to show people, even those I might not talk to directly, that I am not part of the straight masses.

And I think that can be important not only to me but also to queer people in general. I don’t want to sound like getting a bi-themed tattoo will make me a great activist or something, but I do think that it will do its part because it makes other people aware. Aware of the fact that not everyone who looks straight, has to be straight. Or that there are more queer people than most straight people might believe. I want to get the tattoo for me in the first place, but I like the impact it can have on my surroundings in general. And who knows, maybe I might inspire some people or it can be a conversation starter 😉

So to answer one of the questions I asked in the beginning: Is coming out still necessary? For me, it is, because yes there has been a lot of good things happening to the community within the last decades, but there is still a long way to go when the goal is to be equal at some point, to be known, and to be seen. Of course, that’s only my opinion on the topic and I would never force anyone to come out or be as open about their sexuality, but for me, it’s empowering. As empowering as choosing bisexual as the word I want to label myself with, instead of pansexual for example. And I did think about including my reason why I did so in this post, but I think that might be a long enough conversation to have, to make its own post for. So keep looking for that one, if you are interested in it 😉

Greetings and good wishes
The Mad Hattress

PS: I wrote this post in the beginning of august but then I thought: In one month is a special day, why not save it up till then? So I wish you all a happy Bisexuality Visibility Day!

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